If you die, I'll kill you
by NaruHinaLuvr13
Summary: Gintoki, mortally wounded, thinks about his life. Even though some things have been left unsaid, he's fine with dying if it meant to protect his loved ones. Hijikata has other ideas. Ginhijigin. Mild cursing and blood.
**Note: one shot idea that came to me as i was reading a fanfic for another pairing. it was for the whole "If you die I'll kill you" thing and I was like oh thats something Hijikata would say. So here we are with this. One shot. Fluff angst and emotionally retarded babies. What can you do. Enjoy.**

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His breathing came out in harsh pants, each breath sending a stab of pain to the wound in his side.

Blood.

There was blood everywhere. Most of it wasn't his, belonging to the numerous bodies that lay already drained of life around him.

This seemed to be a reoccurring theme in his life, but what can he really do about that?

All he really could do was try and use his sword to protect those he wanted to. And that is exactly what happened.

 _At least Kagura and Shinpachi were safe. I made sure Okita and Hijikata took them to bring them to safety instead of me._

So while most of the blood around him wasn't his, too much of his own was pooling around his body where he lay on the floor, a hand to his wound in a vain attempt to slow down the blood flow. He knew what was happening and couldn't help but laugh at the bitterness of it all, the laugh coming out as a choked sound as he coughed up more blood.

He was dying, plain and simple.

He couldn't move, he had already lost too much blood. His body felt like it weighed a ton and wouldn't move. Hell he could hardly breathe. The only option now was to lay on his back and watch the clouds drift by as he waited until his life ended.

All that was left was to wait until he bled out and died.

Thinking back on his life, Gintoki could only think of one thing that he regretted. Not being able to protect the person who was most important to him at the time, the people who were important. He tried to protect them both, but ended up losing that battle.

 _Heh, can't embrace you while I hold a sword, but can't protect you with my sword while I embrace you. Isn't that right, sensei?_

At least in the end, he could say he died doing just that, protecting what was important to him.

His thoughts wandered to his kids. No doubt they would be heart broken, but they had each other, and they had numerous other people who would take care of them.

Zura for one. Yeah, he'd be hurt knowing that he lost another friend, but Zura would protect them in Gintoki's honor.

 _If you have so much time to plan out a beautiful death, then why don't you live life beautifully until the end?_

Heh, those words sure came back to bite him in the ass, didn't they?

And the gorilla? He'd be fine too, he had Okita and Toushi to watch him.

Toushi…

Gintoki tried to imagine his reaction upon his death. Okita would no doubt be sad about losing his sadist partner, but how would Hijikata feel?

They butted heads for everything. Hijikata knew just what to do and say to get Gintoki's blood going and Gintoki knew the easiest ways to piss off the demon vice commander. But how would he react knowing Gintoki died? Would he be sad? Would he cry like he did for Mitsuba? Would he be angry that he lost someone else? Were they even that close?

Gintoki felt a pang of hurt flow through him. Not physical hurt, because he was already dying and numb at this point, but emotional hurt.

They respected each other, they acknowledged each other's skill, they thought alike, they bickered a lot. But were they close?

Close enough for Hijikata to know to take the kids first, that that is what Gintoki wanted.

Gintoki felt a tired smile cross his face.

They weren't as close as Gintoki wanted them to be, but at least it was something.

 _It's too bad I'll never be able to confess. Let alone say goodbye._

But he accepted it. That's just the way things were for samurai.

With one final smile to the world, Gintoki shut his eyes.

That was, until he heard the sound of his name being called. Was he dreaming? Cracking an eye open, he looked to where he thought the sound came from. Was he imagining things? That almost sounded like-

"OI! YOROZUYA! THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?"

Ah so he wasn't going crazy.

Gintoki managed a weak grin as Hijikata came into view, slightly bloody and injured as well, but faring much better than the perm head on the ground was.

"Miss me, Hijikata kun?" He asked weakly, earning a scowl from the demon vice commander.

"Don't talk idiot. You've lost way too much blood. ZAKI! GET THE MEDICAL TEAM RIGHT AWAY OR ELSE I'LL DRIVE MY SWORD THROUGH YOUR GUT!"

The badminton player yelped as he screamed bloody murder, yelling orders for the others to "move their lazy asses!"

Gintoki felt another wave of pain as Hijikata pressed against his wound, looking over to notice he took off his jacket and was using it to put pressure against the stab wound.

"Idiot, you just have to go off and be reckless don't you? Fucking idiot. Your kids will kill us both if you died."

Gintoki chuckled, which was reduced to coughs. This earned an angered "OI" from Toushi, but Gintoki just smirked weakly at him.

"If I didn't know any better I'd say that you were worried about me, Toushi-kun."

Hijikata scoffed, his glare softening just slightly. "As if."

Gintoki smirked, lifting up a shaky hand to brush against the other man's cheek. "Your tsundere act can't fool me. Of course you fell for Gin-san's charm. Just make sure you tell the others…bye bye…"

Gintoki's hand suddenly fell limp, his red eyes closing. Hijikata felt his body go cold. Where the fuck was Yamazaki with the medical team?

"OI! YOROZUYA! DON'T YOU DARE DIE ON ME! YOU HEAR ME? I'LL KILL YOU IF YOU DO! IF YOU DIE I'LL KILL YOU!"

"Hijikata san!" Zaki yelled, coming in view with what looked like a doctor, but Hijikata was already in panic mode. He grabbed on to Gintoki like a life line, hoping – _praying-_ that the other man would open his eyes and laugh at him like this was all some sort of stupid joke.

Hijikata felt arms pull him away but he pushed them off, feeling himself get pulled away from the silver haired samurai who just _wouldn't wake up._

"OI! GINTOKI! GINTOKIII!"

Gintoki slowly and sluggishly came to consciousness. The first thing that hit him was the smell of antibiotics, of hospital. The next was that his body felt, quite literally, like shit.

Scrunching up his face, he blearily blinked his eyes awake, scrunching and wincing at the bright light. Dammit why wouldn't they make hospital lights dimmer? The sick would be blinded, dammit!

"Gin-san!"

"Gin-chan!"

Gintoki was automatically bombarded by a pair of glasses and Yato girl. He felt a small smile grow.

"Oi oi oi, be careful of Gin-san. I just woke up I don't need you knocking me out again."

"Don't worry mother like that, Gin-chan!" Kagura yelled, tears in her blue eyes. Shinpachi looked no better.

"We thought you'd never wake up!"

"Well I'm awake, and I hurt. What happened?"

Shinpachi stepped to the side, revealing a sleeping Hijikata, who looked like he hadn't moved in days.

"He found you on the battlefield. He wouldn't leave your side. You were out for almost two weeks."

"Mayora was almost more worried about you than we were, aru."

Gintoki could only stare. So he was really worried huh?

"Ah, Danna. You're up." Gintoki looked up to see Sougo walk in, a small smile on his normally emotionless features. "It's too bad. I was hoping Hijikata would exhaust himself so he would be easy to kill and I can take his place."

"Oi, what sort of greeting is that." Gintoki muttered, grimacing.

"I'm going to go alert Kondo-san. You two should come with me to get the doctor. Im sure Danna needs some rest."

"But-"

"Come on Kagura-chan, Sougo-san is right."

"Ok, but make sure you're awake when we get back, Gin-chan." The yato girl said, giving Gintoki her best motherly look before following Sougo out.

"Kagura chan he was severely injured…" the rest of Shinpachi's lecture was muffled as the door closed behind them. Gintoki let out a tired sigh before turning his head to Hijikata.

"Two weeks huh?"

"You lost almost two whole liters of blood and suffered multiple stab wounds, most of which needed stitches."

Hijikata slowly blinked his eyes open, staring at Gintoki with an unreadable look.

"Ah well, that sounds troublesome." Gintoki blurted, trying to ease the atmosphere a bit. He winced when he realized his mistake and how angry Hijikata got.

"Troublesome? TROUBLESOME? You almost fucking DIED, Gintoki! Shit, you would have had I not found you! You lost so much blood you needed a transfusion! You-UGH!"

He made a move for a cigarette but seemed to realize he couldn't, cursing angrily instead and glaring a hole in the wall.

"Who gave me the transfusion?" He asked silently. Hijikata once again gave him that look as he rolled up his sleeve and showed the band aid. Gintoki let out a simple "ah," but said nothing else, opting for staring up at the ceiling.

After another unbearable silence, Gintoki opened his mouth again.

"Hiiiiijikaaaata-kuuuuun."

"You mind telling me what the fuck shit you were thinking?"

Ah, there it was.

Gintoki didn't say anything, looking up at the ceiling. No doubt Toushi already figured out what was going on through his head.

"You were trying to protect everyone weren't you? Don't you believe in us? You almost fucking died, you idiot! Do you know how much we'd miss you? AHN?"

"Would you miss me too Toushi?"

Hijikata glared at him before turning away, muttering something.

"Ah? What was that? I couldn't hear you, I'm injured, speak louder."

"You're injured not deaf!" Hijikata yelled before taking a calming breath. "I said…" he muttered once again, a blush forming on his cheeks. Who knew the demon vice commander could look so cute while blushing?

Putting a hand to his ear, Gintoki asked again. "Huh? I couldn't catch that."

"I SAID YES YOU IDIOT!" He yelled, turning red. Gintoki chuckled, wincing as his body rejected the action. He simply smiled at Toushi until he could see the vein in his forehead from irritation. "You got something to say, perm head?"

"I love you."

Both men completely froze. Gintoki hadn't meant to say it. Hell he didn't even think he was READY to say it. But there it was, as blunt and out in the open as he did everything else. Hijikata stood up from his chair, taking the two or three steps it took to be right next to Gintoki, his V shaped bangs covering his eyes. Gintoki couldn't help but be just a tad bit nervous. Just because Hijikata saved his life didn't mean he wouldn't kill him right here and now.

But instead of killing him, Hijikata simply bent down and gently pressed his lips to Gintoki's. Gintoki froze, holding his breath as he felt Hijikata's tongue shyly swipe his lips, looking for a reaction from him. It was when he was about to pull away that Gintoki snapped out of his shock and kissed back. It was a simple press of lips, a simple rhythm of push pull that was simple but meant so much more at the same time.

When Hijikata pulled back, his face was red. Gintoki quickly concluded he could get used to that expression on the normally angry shinsengumi officer. Just as Hijikata opened his mouth to speak, the door slammed open with a loud bang, startling both samurai who were already inside.

"GIN CHAN! WE FOUND THE…huh? Did we interrupt something, aru?"

"Ah, Hijikata-san. What poor timing. Did I interrupt a confession of sorts?"

Gintoki silently wished Kagura would lose all her sukonbu in the near future. Hijikata already had his sword out, swiping at Sougo's head, who was dodging as if he expected this outburst. Shinpachi tried desperately to calm them down, only for Kagura to join in and punch all three of them. Gintoki couldn't help the affectionate smile on his face. As much as they drove him crazy, he cared about these idiots. Enough that he would gladly die for them.


End file.
